Jeong In Norwegian Wood

책임감

2011-08-06T19:27:00.000-07:00

1. 자기 일도 잘 처리 못하면서, 남의 일에 신경쓰는 건 무슨 얼어죽을 책임감인가?

이런 걸 바로 오지랖이라고 하는 건가?

2. 보낸 지 3달이 다된 이메일에 답장하나 못해 줄 정도로 정말 세상 혼자 사는 것 처럼 바쁘게 사는 사람을 마트에서 우연히 마주쳤을 때란. 이건 내가 조급한 건지 상대방이 느긋한 건지 모르겠네;;

New start!

2011-06-25T14:52:00.000-07:00

Reading others' blogs, I've been wanting to write a blog as well.

I'm not sure what I want to blog about for sure yet because I'm interested in so many different things: writing, reading, books, food, fashion, movies, etc. Besides, I consider myself as an "normal" human being, who tries to do her best while struggling through every moment of life, among so many talented, special, interesting people. Nevertheless, at this point, I think I will start with myself--who I am, what I am doing, what I feel, and what I learn on a daily basis. (I don't even know who would read this blog. ever.)

Anyway, for those who accidentally visited my blog,

Welcome :)

Lost in philosophy

2008-11-23T21:29:00.000-08:00

Finishing up Teaching Philosophy today, and about to write second one, I feel I'm lost in the world of philosophy. Actually these questions are what I've been wondering about at times through this semester. What does philosophy of composition have to do with teaching philosophy? How does that integrate into the same category? What I found interesting is it really does integrate sometimes, and I think the reason is because of the particular characteristic of composition that requires teachers to be "teacher" teacher.
I don't doubt probably someone who reads the phrase "teacher" teacher might nod. Teaching writing is definitely different from teaching literature or chemistry. There's nothing to memorize or understand content-wise. It's just a matter of what you think and what you want to talk. What you have in mind becomes your content, the topic, and everything. There would be no one who would scold you since you did not include in your writing this formula or that historical background. That's why how to teach really matters in composition, and maybe that's why we can't ever get the right answer to this question: what is a good writer?

When teachers meet students...

2008-11-12T20:44:00.000-08:00

I still vividly remember the first day of the grad school this semester. It was my linguistics class, Principles of Language by Dr. Min-joo Kim. I was tired before I entered the classroom, and I was excited when I got out of the classroom. I was full of energy, joy, excitement, and delightment.
This very first class relieved all the concerns and worries about my academic choice, and since that Monday, Dr. Kim has been my role model, wanna-be, and great teacher.

The reason why I found her lecture so impressing and touching was not what she taught us that day. We did not learn much of the contents that we were supposed to cover since most of us didn't have textbook with us. Also, as the course name might imply, what she talked about was just basic ideas of what Linguistics is and its subclasses. What made me so big fan of her class was her sincerity. She told us

"I don't think all of you are my students. I think of you as my collegues because everytime I teach, I learn something new while working with every one of you. It's not because you are graduate students. It's the same as I meet undergraduate courses. It's so amazing that I discover something new from our class. So, that's my pleasure, and I am grateful that I can have you in my class."

It was just surprising to see her attitude to her students, with attachment, respect, and reponsibility. And I wondered whether I could have that kind of mindset when I get to teach my students next year, or even if it is really true that you can learn from your students. Spending over a decade of academic career, who would really be able to think they learn from students? Some people might not get that. After all, the fact is that they know more than us.

But I figure what Dr. Kim meant by that she could learn from her students was "sincerity.": Pure, passsionate, and sincere pursuit of academy. There's nowhere that we can learn this sincerity but from students. It's not on the textbook, or it's not on the tons of articles that we read every single day. No one teaches what kind of mindset we should have in teaching. The answer is right there with us, with your students.

Errors

2008-10-14T00:04:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking what questions I have through the semester so far. Hmm... questions.... Sometimes I'm even confused even at the fact whether I do have a question or not. Honestly, it's just all grey area in my head at times, and I don't even know if I really know this subject. Thinking back with the brain half burnt out, all I could recall now is the topic that we had pretty recently.
It was about the error, the discussion led by Jake. I vaguely remember we were talking about the errors that freshmen made, to what extent we can overlook those, so and so forth.
I know we've been hearing that we should be nice and not too mean to freshmen when grading, but I've slightly disagreed with that. As Jake said, they are in college now, not in high school any more. So, it's imperative that they be required to show some degree of professional mindset and formality in writing as long as they are IN the college. Okay, then let's just accept the fact that we should help them not to be terrified by bitter, harsh, and painful comments so they won't run away from the chance they get better. Then, when are we going to do that? When are we starting to give them unpleasant-to-hear real help? Isn't it true the proverb urging us that spare the rod, spoil the child? Once you want your child to eat with the silverwares, you should teach how to use it from the very first time. If you overlook the first time when they grab food with their hands, they would think it is okay to have it without silverwares because they know their moms will be happy anyway with only the fact that they can eat by themselves. But, the fact is that we expect them to behave in more sophisticated manner as they grow up, and this is why we need discipline at the first moment. The earlier they learn and we explain why, the sooner they become aware of the importance.

Yes, it's THEORY,THEORY, THEORY!

2008-10-13T23:28:00.000-07:00

I've never thought about theory until I came to the graduate school. No, actually I have, but let's put it this way; I did not perceive theory as the way it should be understood. This truly shows how much I gave it reflection in my life. Very little. Almost nothing. At the same time, it's funny that I didn't consider theory as an option or choice that I can take, which nevertheless is the very essense of it. Even when I took Japanese linguistic theory, it didn't occur to me that it is a "theory," let alone I knew what I could do with it. The reason why I start with this stupid and embarrassing part of me is that I think I found what I have to do with "theory."

It sounds condescending and arrogant, but actually what I found is a very small fact. Maybe everyone else already knew it and gave up on it already, but to me, this comforting little fact explains everything. That is, theory is just theory. It might seem too ominous and depressing, but I found it very relieving in a way that it takes off all the concern and discomfort that I have about theory.

But when you think of the purpose of theory, it's not supposed to be this hard. It should not be this negative and disquieting. Theory gives you more ideas, options, and choices, and you get to have lots to say. So, I'm here in the middle of a classroom wondering whether I will ride on the comfort saying "theory is theory" or switch over to the messenger of "expressivism," "social constructivism," and "multiculturalsim."

I don't think I can come to a decision right away. I might not be able to do that until at the end of the semester or maybe, not quite happily, even at the moment that I would be on the podium. But maybe I overlooked its uncertainty over the possibility of change, whatever it is concerned. Apparently, there is a small window of opportunity, and all it asks you to do is try. But why are we hesitating? What are we waiting for? And why are we ignoring the chances?

Process? or Product?

2008-09-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

As some of you who already read my last blog promt about "voice" might notice, my process is insanely complicated, which doesn't always mean "well-organized." To answer the question "how do you write?,"I do outline what I want to say on a piece of paper as much possibly detailed as it could be; I divided into several blocks for introduction, body, and conclusion, and with one deep breath, I start to fill those blanks out. Sometimes, I get lost in the middle while thinking if this idea is strong enough to support that idea or if that one is overlapping the other one. When I feel the outline is specific and supportive enough, I start to type with my laptop. I don't know why, but I prefer working with my own laptop to working with the desktop in my office. Writing following the outline, I go back a lot and try to see if I miss or skip something or if I use certain sentence structure repetitively. This makes my work delayed so much more than I always plan beforehand. I know I shouldn't do that, but honestly I'm still doing that(even now!). Other than that, I think my process is similar to others. Finishing up the writing, I move on to proofreading and editing. Then, work is done.

I'm not sure if I say this here, but I think myself as an unskilled writer. I'm even confused at the definition of what is skilled or unskilled writer, but when I read about the process of unskilled writer in the previous essay, I was able to be sympathetic to the process of whoever it was. It doesn't mean I hate writing(I used to hate, but I don't any more). So, I could pretty much assume how they feel when they write and what they think about their works. Especially, I was surprised at some of the commonalities they have in writing such as they don't like to express themselves out in the writing since I felt the same way before, or maybe I do somewhat even now.

When thinking of the experience, with my hand not really moved for the next sentence, my head full of the nameless ideas, and my heart beating trillions times a minute, it's not that happy to be "critic" grading kids' assignments. Some of them might not even care writing, and some of them might be born with brilliant talents making impeccable stories. Still, there are students short of breath, biting finger nails whenever they grab pens to write something and try to find "the word." They might spend days and nights to figure that out and get close to the writing that sounds fabulous enough to say "I'm done!." However, it doesn't necessarily guarantee that they will have "A"s since it is too difficult to evaluate papers considering how much they devoted to this work or how well a student follows the thinking process. After all, it's all about the product; all we see is a piece of paper and letters. My question is, how can we evaluate individual efforts and process?

One of the approaches that I came up with is to really "know" the students. As doctors cannot cure the patients if they don't know what their patients' symtoms are, if you don't know their expectations and needs, there is no way we can help them to get better. Therefore, I think we need more intense composition class in terms of the relationship between students and teachers. Once you get to really know your students, what they are weak at, or how their processes are, I think it will definitely make it easier to consider the process. On the other hand, it could also be controversial when it comes to the fairness. Anomousity might prevent unjust assessment and help fair evaluation, but it shouldn't do harm on the very essence of what they need: consistent attention and constant value on what they work through.

Voice

2008-09-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

Now I'm taking a risk in an experiment: the risk that I've never imagined myself in. Actually, it's not a big deal like peace talk over the deactivation of the nuclear weapon or espionage sneaking into the hospital that the dictator of North Korea, Kim Jung Il, had his brain surgery. I'm just writing my blog prompt without any outline, which I've never done in my life except for cases like emailing to friends and writing the journal. The reason why I am doing this is to see if this works better in expressing my own voice or not.

I just read my blog prompts that I've been writing, and some of those surprised me because I couldn't recognize my voice; I couldn't remember what I was planning to tell or what I wanted to express. Recalling the situation that I was about to write in, I came up with this idea that I might raise my own voice better if I put myself at the moment "shaping at the point of utterance" like Britton said.

Anyway, back to the point, let's talk about "voice." Basically, I don't think I have my own voice yet, but if I could define the voice as something that I believe in or am rooted in, I believe that individual "voice" could either enhance or decrease "academic voice." Your sincere and genuin belief permeated through your voice could help you to improve and develop your academic research or specialization. If you want to express what you believe in and raise your voice, you would be more likely to find the way to prove its validality and veracity. Playing the most effective weapon in claiming your opinion, "voice" seems essential virtuosity when it comes to writing. This finding leads me to another question. As a teacher or a grader, how can we approach to this concept for students? There could be a lot of answers, but I think this question is hard to find an answer because having my own voice is a matter of establishing identity, which is not a quick process. Acknowledging your own identity takes lots of time, and it is different from people to people. Some students already mapped out their next five years, but others might even know what they want to do tomorrow. As a teacher, I think, one way we can help them is to provide great amount of different reading. Experiencing various reading, they would find themselves in idosyncratic situations, having their own ideas. This might help them to lay the very foundation of their identity.

Meanwhile, individual voice could worsen your "academic voice" when you are too engrossed in certain belief and stop doubting about it, which is very dangerous therefore should never happen in the academic world. We've been admonished and urged to stick to our own position but in moderation. If the writing is too subjective, it is not valued any more because of the surpassing the normal extent of restraints of academic writing.

Then how should we balance out having authentic voice to the extent that add more power in your own logos in the academic world? Well, I think it is important to try to have both sounds; showing what you trust, but at the same time being a devils' advocate. This way, we can prevent ourselves from being too prejudiced or biased. Maybe we could stop being too dependent on the facts that I believe by, or we might be able to cut out ourselves being overly emotional.

So far, I've been trying to speak out with my own voice, but I don't know how much loud it was.
To me, the answer sounds more like for typical doesen't-have-any-anwer-right-now question.
It just takes time to reach there.

Take 20? why not 30?

2008-09-17T15:58:00.000-07:00

To be honest, one of the reason that dragged me to watch take 20 was I didn't expect much from it. I believe that anyone can make progree in writing through endless practice, but I still think that to be a good writer takes natural knack. So, before I put the disc into the DVD player, I was thinking "hmm.. professors like you teaching how to write must be born with some kind of supernatural talent and ability, and how do you know what others are struggling?" Soon, I felt strange relief and genuin sympathy by listening to them saying "I was total stupid." And, by the end of the video, I found myself taking the note pressing the pause button on the remote control every once in a while.

One of the things that made me feel guilty recently was grading 1301 assignments. To me, every writing is a product of the students' creativity, which I could dare call "art." So, it sounds horrible that I give scores to their "art" with meaningless characters, which became everything to students. Also, I can't spend too much time on each assignment because I need time to study my stuff, too. Then, I feel even more guilty about not being able to fully respond to those papers and moving on. The thing that I learn from this video regarding to my issue was what Nancy Sommers said; try to think the purpose of reponse at the point. Her remark helped me to think that even if I feed their mouths full with an awful lot of comments, realistically thinking, it might not be effective and efficient to students. What if their stomach get clogged? Or what if they choose not to eat any more? And this answer led me to another question; to what extent can I expect from my students and how can I adapt various students' needs and expectations?

Why do we teach composition?

2008-09-07T20:08:00.000-07:00

I used to hate writing. I really did. This apprehension used to make me end up thinking why I should write. To my surprise, however, the more I write, the more I feel I like writing. That's probably because I learned new things about myself as well as about the world through writing; in personal narrative, I learned what I like, and I became aware of how to argue through argumentative essay. Also, I got to know why people are getting obssesive to their appearance from my persuasive essay in communication class. Like my experience, people learn a lot of things through writing, and in this sense, I absolutely agree with the mimetic, one of the philosophies of composition.

As you can assume, what "mimetic" means basically "imitate." In other words, we can imitate the real world under the name of writing, and we can put ourselves in so many different shoes. In the mimetic, therefore, good writing means good thinking, that is, your writing is totally contingent on how you think. In this thinking process, we are exposed to various possibilities, which helps broaden our perspectives through logic and reasoning. Thus, we might be able to say to teach composition is to teach students how to live since life goes on by making a decision at every corner of our lives, and we can do this better by thinking critically. That's why we have to teach composition.

3 important points in teaching composition

2008-09-01T10:46:00.000-07:00

Writing is a process that delivers your own idea to others. There are so many things that we consider when we write, but I think that 3 most important things in composition are critical thinking, audience, and grammar.

When you write, you are expected to express one coherent main idea, so-called topic. To address your topic effectively, it is essential to have critical thinking. Critical thinking helps students to go further into their subjects,contemplate, and organize their ideas. If you do not have critical thinking before you begin to write, it is as if you begin your journey without plan; you do not know where to go next and even your final destination. Supposedly, it is not easy for students to have this concept and keep it in mind. Therefore, we need to help students to delve into the topic and not to digress from the subject that they want to talk by critical thinking.

Moreover, it is important to consider your audience when you write. The purpose of writing is to
deliver my own opinion to the world, and this has meaning only, at least, has a possibility, when it affects something or someone. That is, no matter how you think you express your thought well enough, if your audience do not understand or catch the idea, we cannot say that it is a good writing.

Lastly, I want to emphasize technical aspect of writing. Even though a writer satisfies two conditions above, it still should be expressed in a sophiscated manner to be professional. Sentences with grammatical errors and improper word choices could degrade the credibility of the writer as well as the quality of the paper itself. Thus, it is imperative that students learn and use correct grammar and word, and we can let them achieve this, as teachers, through either reading or grammar lesson.

To conclude, writing is not a simple process in which you can just ramble on whatever you would like to talk about. Students are required to think in a careful and logical manner, and they have to concern about how and to whom their writings would or want to affect. Also, it is crucial to have certain degree of linguistic skills such as grammar. If students are well aware of those three points that I mentioned above, they are off to great start to be good writers.

More about me

2008-08-31T22:42:00.000-07:00

Looking around all of your blogs, I remember I forgot to tell more about me to you.

Nationality; Korea(of course, south) and stayed at Austin until June.
College; BA in Microbiology and Japanese in PNU(Pusan National University) in 2007 August, and now I am studying Linguistics.
Favorite Book and Author; Norwegian Wood, and Haruki Murakami is my favorite writer(he is Japanese).
Movies; I love movies!!! I try not to have any preference and just take up, but my favorites are Love actually, something's gotta give, Lost in Translation, Wicker park, and Almost Famous.
Music; Jazz, contemporary, anything easy listening, Eddie Higgins Trio, Norah Jones, Diana Krall, Silje Negaard, John Mayer, Jack Johnson, Koop, Sarah Mclachlan, etc.
I like; rainy day, walking, coffee, food, World Market, dark brown desk, cozy armchair, beach.

I'm happy to meet you all. :)

Anniversary

2008-08-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

It's been exactly an year since I got to America as of today.
By this time last year, I just got board on a plane to Austin from Dallas.